Recent one

recent visit

After sixteen miles

Me and rob tired
Kaz serial killer
Chet the boss in his special shirt

Kaz birthday

I had a three meat

July 1st - half marathon then Wong kei

13 mile run for me and Kaz then a wong kei

Attendees

Kaz

Poom

Chet (smartly dressed mode)

and ten minutes later

Matt

Choo

I had something DIFFERENT

and it was ok...

I had the hot pot with wind dried sausage, it was nice but i had the feeling of, 'I better not eat all the meat or i'll just have rice left ' , whereas with a 3 meat i can eat everything in every spoonful as much as i want and be the #1 pig man for life. I think i'll return to the 3 meat now but if im not that hungry one day have hot pot again 

New waiter?

Went to Wong keis the other day and this guy in a tuxedo claimed he was a waiter or some kind of wong keis butler and tried to serve me , I told him to go to hell

They let me have it

3 meat crispy noodle , no hesitation, ordered with the iron woman also who normally only lets me have 2

A random Wong kei in last month

Thursday 22nd March

Kaifs Birthday

I had 3 meat on rice with salt and chilli spare ribs to start , with a Tsing Tao

Notable events


Kaif wanted to sit downstairs by the water feature but they wouldn't let us, it turns out the answer to 'Can we sit downstairs?' is 'You must go upstair ' 


As usual I was denied my request of 3 meat on cripsy noodles, it's been so long and i've been denied it so many times now ,I dont think i will taste the sweet Grease every again. Maybe i will ask Rachael Choo the princess of Wong Kei to request it for me, though even she has been denied it.

Looking to the future


I am going to Wong Kei again this Thursday, hopefully it will become more regular again, 

Thursday March 1st

I'm going to post on this blog again  , but not always do the whole write up as it takes too long

This was my first Wong kei of the year where i wasn't dieting for fights etc so i of course had a 3 meat on rice. it was amazing. I have quite a depressive personality and think of dying quite a lot, but I truly feel happy to be alive at Wong keis because i think 'if i was dead i wouldnt be able to eat this food'

Rare interview with the boss of Wong Kei

I came across some footage from 2007 featuring an interesting interview with the boss of Wong Kei. It's a shame to hear that Wong Kei isn't as busy as it used to be (probably due to the over saturation of cheap fast food places in the west end), but it's good to know that it still has a hardcore following.

The interview can be found at about 1min 45sec.

29th August Monday Bank holiday

I had

3 meat on rice

Notable events

First of all I would like to congratulate Mona on eating her first COMPLETE MEAL (singapore fried noodles) , she even looked like she enjoyed it.



Choo continued her flirtations with the Wong keis waiters, I heard she filmed 'Raunchy Rachaels Wong Kei Wankoff ' last week which is why they were all winking at her . Perhaps that's why she had a few extra fish balls in her soup too this week.

We got some of the rudest service for a while , he couldnt even look at us when he served the food, preffering to look away while he put the plates on the table

Chet got some disgusting looking Aubergine meal which everyone tried and said was nice , but I think they were just trying to be nice to him because of the vegetarian in wong keis thing. you've gotta feel sorry for those guys. if i couldnt consume animal fat i dont know what id do

Friday 26th August

Attendees

Chet
Kaz

I had

3 meat rice. I felt brave enough to order. It was of course amazing. Chet had deep fried bean curd and rice (he was tempted by the aubergine but of course change is rubbish).

Notable events

Myself and Chet were in a pub/bar, the place had many pretty ladies, the drinks were flowing, the cool Friday people were out. However, this did not satisfy our bellies, so we made the choice to go to Wong Kei... we were not wrong to do so.

Number of Visits since 20 May (3 months ish)

This doesn't include many wong keis without me, of which Kaz and Rob do on their own sometimes in the week, all of my vists are on there though probably putting Kaz in the lead

Choo obviously the best performing female on there , Chet the best and only Vegetarian

Kaz also get's the prize for most consistent, only missing no more than 1 visit when others have gone . See the figure below

Sunday 21st August

attendees

Poom
Rob
Kaz
Choo
Mona
Chet
Kaif

I had

3 meat on rice - an excellent portion. I noticed that there were bits of BBQ pork attached to my belly pork, I put my hand on my chin and pondered : could it be that BBQ pork is just the other bit of meat on a belly pork joint?
Tsing Tao beer
Hot and sour soup

Events and observations



'Beef and tomato on rice'

What kind of spastic would order this you ask? Rob of course

Beef and Tomato on rice i repeat again
Does that sound like appealing chinese food?
Do you think your in a pizza shop ?
Does your waiter look like a man named Luigi?

Kaif quote which he should keep in mind next time :

"The idea of a menu is to give you an idea of what the dish is like and what is contains'

I say this because when the dish arrived Rob was of course surprised with what was infront of him. his horrible screwed up face had an expression when he saw it as if to ask : why is there Tomatoes and beef in it? why does it look disgusting?.... Why do you think dickhead? Can you even imagine a configuration that beef , tomatoes and rice can be cooked in that would ever be nice in a Chinese restaurant? I've never even seen a tomato in Chinese food, they probably had to import it form the Italian restaurant next door especially to make this disgusting thing. It also had some horrible looking sauce which I am pretty sure came out of a baked bean can.

Kaz ordering Pork Chop and Rice


It is funny that because of the events of the previous visit Kaz can't have 3 meat on rice anymore out of the fear of getting 3 separate meat dishes. What is not funny is that he has broken my ordering confidence of the same thing. Yesterday I was left stuttering like a loser telling the waiter 'J...J...Just a single dish yeah? Ju...just one 3 meat on rice' not only do I anger the waiter acting like this, I might be confusing him also.

I've been thinking about the best way to order this dish and I think the correct line to use is
'Hello Sir , please could I order 3 Mixed meats on rice please ' , No hand signals , no ' 3 BBQ please ' , just read out what is on the menu and everything will be ok

Choos new hair style


We had to wait for a table because Choo wouldnt put her hair the way the wong kei waiters like it. Nice one. now put it back how it was , and how about some eye make up to make those eyes less round please. A gentleman gets accustomed to certain things, like only being abused by waiters a little bit, and not having to sit in the basement, so please fix these small things so i don't have to go back there.

Sunday 7th August

Attendees

Poom
Rob
kaz
kaif
choo

I had :

3 meat on rice
Fried chicken starter

Notable events :

I arrived to the White Horse feeling very hungry for some chilli sauce and meat, but as I reached into my pockets for my bike key a most terrible feeling hit me.

I left my Bike lock key at home

What was I to do ? The feeling was at first acceptance
ok I'm just going to have to go home , I cant cycle back an hour just to get my key

Then desperation
Maybe I could make it in 40 minutes there and back ! I can still go , all is not lost !

Then depression
I may aswell just get a pint then and just go home, my weekend is ruined, my week is ruined, my LIFE is ruined
I could picture my friends in the restaurant, laughing, literally chewing the duck fat without me, maybe I could get a take away and eat it in the park? ... No id have no chilli sauce , or not enough anyway.

So eventually after a meeting with my wong kei crew I decided to take off the wheels and try and bring it into the restaurant, I felt sad. I almost knew i wouldnt make it, but anything for the 3 meats !

I approached the restaurant, Rob with one wheel kaz with the other, single file like some kind of death March, I knew i was going to almost certain humiliation and failure. I approached the waiter bike in hand, like it was normal to carry a bike frame around, The waiter with the cold eyes immediately told me

Cant bring bike in here

I begged , on the verge of tears , I was very hungover and feeling emotional

Please, I go downstair !

The waiter looked at me, he saw the desperation in my eye, & that stony heart for one second softened and he said some magic words to me

'go in back'

I'll quote Patrick Bateman from American Psycho here

"I'm on the verge of tears by the time we arrive at Espace, since I'm positive we won't have a decent table. But we do, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave"

Sunday 14th August

Points for dedication

Whilst clearly being dedicated to Wong Kei, we have yet to rename ourselves in its favour.

http://wongkeiming.blogspot.com/

Mr Kei. We salute you!

Friday 29th july

Attendees
Poom
Rob shitwith
Robs phone

I had 2 meat rice. Duck and bbq pork

Notable events
Rob had some disgusting looking mince meat rice dish
Robs phone didn't eat but was very talkative , it didn't talk to me much but they had a great conversation throughout the meal .

When the team splits

This week we didn't all go to Wong Kei together, the important thing was we did all still go to Wong Kei

Attendees

Kaz

Kaif

Events
I had three BBQ meat rice. The duck was especially good. Kaif had Pork Chop Chillie Salt and Rice. He explained to me the time he first ate it and didnt like it. He has changed the error of his ways. We also discovered downstair toilet has a very powerful hand dryer which shakes when you use it but in standard Wong Kei style fully drys your hands and other regions should you wish.

Added bonus, we looked in the downstair water feature. It has 7 large goldfish in it. None of them looked happy.

In other news, this was also the pilot for Wong Kast. Details soon.

The night we didn't see Transformers

On Wednesday 27th of July 2011 we attempted to go to the cinema. Due to the constant uncertainly he exudes upon us all (and because of the general erratic nature of Rob anti-authority Skipdick) we did not book tickets. Due to this when we arrived the film was sold out and we did not manage to see the said 3D extravaganza.

We felt sad.

However, we soon realised that we had some spare time. As the penny dropped Kaz looked genuinely excited as the new plan for the evening was formulated.

Attendees

Choo

Kaz

Chet

Mona

Shitwith

I ate

King prawns with black bean on rice.

Quotes

"I am very pleased with how much chilli and garlic there is in my meal today" (Kazimierz Layton 2011)

Notable Events

1. As we walked in one of the young men downstairs said to me "hello again" - proving Wong Kei staff have excellent memories.
2. When we got upstair the young man there said "Oh you again"
3. The same said young man then told me I should work there.
4. Kaz told me I had ruined his Wong Kei experience. I think he is only jealous that none of the young gentlemen in there smiled at him. I will ask them to next time.
5. As we walked out the boss man downstair smiled and said "Bye gorgeous"

I am not liking this new smiley smiley Wong Kei attitude. I wish they would go back to looking at me like a piece of dirt on their millionaire shoes.

So in conclusion...

Thank you Odeon, you allowed us an opportunity to see the error of our ways, to stop trying to do something different, to stop thinking different meant better. With the reality check complete we could head to the safety of the place that we knew would never reject us.

Fuck you Odeon, hello Wong Kei.

That is all.

Choo x

The night we had good service

Saturday 23rd of July 2011

Attendees

Choo

Vicki

Rob

A girl with a lip piercing

Simon

Rav

Chet

Pete

Kaz

Joe

Rick

Miller

Jonesy

Duschanca

I ate

King Prawn with Chilli and Salt on Rice, no shell.

Notable Events

Last night was very special. Not only because we were celebrating Kaz'z Sammy Smiths birthday extravaganza but more importantly because it also happened to be the night we got GOOD service. I say this because:

1. At one point we had three waiters at the table who were all smiling.

2. One of older waiters touched me on the shoulder twice laughing.

3. The boss man in the main part of upstair waved at me as we left.

4. They helped Rav to find his way from upstair to downstair and passed him to me in almost a caring fashion.

Other business...

• Chetan continued to disappoint Rob Twatwith by having deep fried tofu.

• Miller ate an epic sized portion of fried chicken despite the smiley waiter's warnings that it was a sharing dish. Well done Miller. I even am more impressed because prior to Wong Kei he had downed some peanuts in The White Horse as an appetizer and swiftly looked like he was going to die.
• Rick not only ordered Lemon Chicken (oh dear) but he then proceeded to try and cut it by stabbing it repeatedly with his chopsticks. After half an hour he succeeded in cutting one piece.
• Simon ordered seaweed.
• Simon ordered a bowl of sweet and sour sauce.
• Simon poured the sauce over Rav's food without his permission.
• Rav was so drunk he ate it anyway and was later seen gnawing on his chopstick.

Letting the side down...

I feel I speak for the entire Wong Kei community by saying that I was deeply hurt to see both Pete and Duschanca using.........a fork.

Conclusion: Dye your hair black, smile and they may let into the circle of trust for just one night. Normal shit service will be resumed ASAP.

Photos to come.

Choo x

Thursday 14th July

Attendees

Poom
Kaif

I had

3 meat on rice

Notable events

We were told to go upstair but for some reason we requested to eat downstair.
It has been some time since I visited the basement and I have a feeling they are not going to let me go back up again now I've made my choice.
I sat next to the 'amazing water feature', which has now been turned off
We were served by 'old man' , my favourite of all the waiters, It seems that they don't let him serve anywhere but the basement which is a shame as I love him but hate sitting down there

Wednesday 6th July

Attendees

Poom
Kaz
Choo
Mona

I had - 3 meat on rice with also a black bean beef dish which i shared with Kaz

Notable events

We sat on the top floor and for a few seconds were the only ones up there
There is some stories Rob has from his visit here on his own 1 hour prior to our arrival but I will write that up another day

Wednesday June 22nd

Attendees

Poom
Kaz
Choo
Kaif

I had

3 meat on rice

Notable events :


Choo ordered 'sliced fish' . it looked pretty disgusting , but she seemed to like it

For no reason , a picture of myself and Kaif :



Rob Gayman wanted to stay at home and wank so he asked Kaz to bring him back a chcken and sweetcorn soup

he did but it wasn't what he expected ! haha !

Wong Kei Thursday June 17th 'A detailed Look'

Attendees
Poom
Kaz
Darius Gayavi
Choo
Chet
Kaif

I had

Ribs chilli and salt to start
3 meat Deep fried noodle Main

Notable events

I start with a quote from Rob Prickwith
"Yeah I am, I am around for wonkeys. What time meet?

I am so looking forward to old school time!
"
He later went out with his work mates and binned us off, what a loser ! Why would u not want to be at wong keis ?

Here is some photos of attendees



look at everyone staring at me , they are probably thinking 'he is so handsome!'



This is Kazs hand taking a LARGER THAN USUAL amount of chilli onto his prawn cracker , delicious , he is a mad man! I remember this one time he eat too much chilli, so funny!



I participated in a coin toss vs Gayavi and lost. The prize was to choose which starter we shared, I wanted the salt and chilli squid and he wanted the ribs. I lost



Kaz made an interesting discovery during this visit, he tried something new and it was good ! beef brisket and rice. Sometimes change can be good, but not often.
I respect this man for his courage.



Choo again suprised us with a nice meal we dont normally order, prawn chilli and salt



Chet had a tofu meal, stupid vegetarians ! (it was quite nice though)



I commited a sin. I didnt finish my meal.. I dont know what was wrong with me, was it the beers before? the big starter? the lack of exercise ?

whatever it was, i am ashamed. It wont happen again

Friday visit

Excited about the Friday visit to Wong Kei, It's been something like 9 days since my last meal there and I feel robbed of a Wong Kei cause of that crap one we went to on Sunday

we might mix it up and go to 'The Shaftesbury' instead of a Samuels Smiths

This is probably a bad idea, change has always worked out pretty bad for me

The Time We Didnt Go To Wong Kei (of course it was a sad time)

Today we didn't go to Wong Kei

Attendees

Poom
Rob
Kaz

We didnt eat our normal meals. Poom had two meat rice, Kaz had three meat rice, Rob had duck and rice. It was not as good as Wong Kei, we all felt worse for it. And thats all we have to say about that.

Poom "Sometimes you have to experience the bad to appreciate the good"

Sunday 5th June

I ordered:

3 meat on rice

attendees

Poom
Kaz
Kaif


Notable events

When Kaz went to the toilet he went upstairs for some reason and not to the back, what an idiot!

Kaif debated having squid with salt and chilli but he did not

Monday 30th May

attendees

Poom
Kaif
That ginger girl
Rob

I ordered:

prawn black bean on rice

Notable events

my 3rd wong kei in 4 days, a 'bank holiday special' you might say
the girl ordered sweet and sour sauce with her meal, it took a very long time to come, her meal looked very bland but become nice with the sauce
Rob eat some prickish chinese take away looking meal as usual

Saturday May 28th

attendees

Poom
Kaz

I ordered :

3 meat on rice

Notable events

A later than usual wong keis after the champions league final (10pm), it was quite empty

Kaz told his friends he would meet them for a drink after the meal then of course went home without doing so, wong keis is a sultry temptress who will end your night. and maybe your life

Friday May 27th

attendees

Poom
Kaz
Choo
Chet

I ordered

3 meat cripsy noodles

Notable events

Chet is a vegetarian, ,he ordered vegetables on crispy noodles which did actaully not look too bad, but im not sure he'll be coming back anytime soon

Choo came again and performed pretty well again, eating all her meal of prawn chilli and salt

Kaz tried deep fried noodles for the first time ever and didnt enjoy it that much compared to rice. I respect that but I do think he is gay

Video

here is a video of myself going to wong kei and trying something different which was disgusting

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPA1yjwrbgg&feature=youtu.be

Found on another blog

Thinking of trying this dish one day


"Random Meat Chow Mein- random because it consists of pig's liver, pig's stomach, roast pork, roast duck, squid, fish cake, ufo (unidentified fried offal),etc. I'm hooked on this dish, it's faultless."

May 21st Saturday night

This weekend I went twice in a row

Attendees

Paul W
Kaz
Darius
Rob

I had : Prawn , blackbean and garlic on rice. This was a different meal to what i normally have. It was satisfying and delicious but I won't have it again as 3 meat on rice/noodles is better

Events

Rob being very rude to waiter , why does this idiot come to wong kei and complain about service?
Darius eat 2 meals (beef brisket noodle soup + salt and chilli pork on rice)

20 May Friday visit YUMMY

Attendees

Kaif
Kaz
Paul
Choo
Livo

I had : 3 meat on rice + shared a garlic and salt squid

Events :

I was very impressed Rachael Choo managed to finish a whole meal , this is an unusual and remarkable feat for a female wong kei customer

A waiter when delivering some of the food said 'yummy', which is pretty weird as they normally don't talk to us nicely at all never mind say something positive and weird like that.